I was having the nicest dream last night: I was lying on the beach and a beautiful woman in a bikini was stroking my face.
Her long nails were gently scratching my cheeks, my nose, my lips and finally tracing circles around the edges of my ears.
Then she jammed her finger into my ear and the scratching began to really hurt.
I woke up to find a HUGE cockroach trying to burrow into my brain via my ear drum.
I evicted it from my pillow with enthusiasm and then went for a 45 minute shower, using about half of the bar of soap by scrubbing my face and ears continually.
Then after I had brushed my teeth about six times, I tried (unsuccessfully) to go back to sleep.
Then after I had brushed my teeth about six times, I tried (unsuccessfully) to go back to sleep.
That was at 3am and I haven't been to sleep since.
This is why we need more spiders and scorpions, etc.
If a spider is crawling over your face whilst you sleep, it is only because it is looking for cockroaches to kill. It has no real interest in laying eggs in your ear-hole.
I know they are venomous and everything, but it was a COCKROACH man, on my FACE!!
Jay-Zuss!!
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